As Queen Interpreter of the World to 3 girls, I’m faced daily with the prospect of coming up with clever, seemingly accurate answers to the most stirring questions facing great minds under 5 today. These include:
Why do mommas need so much sleep?
Because that’s how we recharge our superpowers
Do you really actually have eyes in the back of your head, or are you just kidding?
No I’m not kidding. I actually can see everything you do at all times so clean up your toys and stop hitting your sister.
Are people only alive when they’re in heaven?
Hmmmm?
Are people alive in heaven?
Sorry? What?
ARE PEOPLE ALIVE IN HEAVEN, I SAID!!
Ask your Father.
Why do we have so many grandmas?
Because mommy & daddy are in the post-divorce generation and we’re all paying the price now for the self-discovery and self-expression of the Me-Generation (aka: Boomers) who all chose to end 1 or 2 marriages in the 70s and 80s and remarry and create a huge mess for Gen X to clean up.
*Silence*
Lol. That has earned a ruined keyboard award. I also have tea dribbling from my nose.
I concur with moobs, very funny post. You’re a very good writer.
It’s also funny cuz I say “Ask your mother” but better yet I’ve perfected the noncommital “um, sure” when I don’t understand the question. It takes skill to be this good a parent!
ADP
LOVED IT!! Especially the last one…cuz it is soooooo true!!!
When my son was 4 he determined that as babies come from women?s stomachs and are small when they are first born . . . babies come out of their moms? mouth.
I have yet to correct him, and he’s 6 now.