CrankMama Index 12:
1. Number of times, on an average day, I’m told I’m a "breath of fresh air": 2
2. Number of times I’m told I’m a sexy hottie: .789232
3. Number of times each week I believed a happily married person should have sex when I was 25: 5
4. Number of times each week I believe a happily married person should have sex now that I’m 38: .5
5. Number of brothers: 2
6. Number of brothers who are Mormon: 2
7. Ratio of total in-laws visiting to personal daily wine consumption per 8oz.: 1/80
8. Time in seconds it takes upon picking up reading material, for someone to start an in-depth conversation about lawncare, weather, deadly hunger, or intra sibling hitting: 5
9. Time in seconds it takes someone to knock on any door that is locked for the sole purpose of insuring my privacy: 5
10. Number of times my Mom calls me each week to ask if anything is wrong because she just "has a bad feeling": 2
11. Number of therapy visits I estimate my children will need to recover from their childhood: 8,001
12. Number I needed to get over mine: 1,000,001
#1 - How wonderful!
#7 & #12 Oh how I can relate!
Numbers 9, 10, 11, & 12 are the stories of my life. Why is it that when Daddy’s in the bathroom he can indulge in AND enjoy an entire twenty minutes of kid/knock free bliss while, when Mommy’s in there, all of a sudden Daddy can’t find a damned thing in the house and the kids prefer only me to get what they need? (sheesh!)
Ugh! And my mother? I’ve actually got a post about her in a few days. I’m still trying to find a way to be pc without blasting her in the therapeutical way I always do to save my sanity.
And speaking of therapy…(sigh) I might as well start now so that by the time my own daughter hits the teen years I can boast about all the therapy I needed in the name of my own mother.
It just never ends, does it?
I love it! Your number for being told your a sexy hottie actually looks good! That’s almost once a day!
What a breath of fresh air you are, you sexy hottie!
The index is my favorite part of Harper’s .
(13. Number of times a day someone short calls out, “Mom, mom, mom”, before I start twitching: 87) If it were my clever idea instead of yours, I woulda had to add that.
So, how many sister-in-laws do you have?
Jessica, only 2 (I know, that’s a difficult joke to avoid).. Moobz, too kind. Andie & Jennifer - glad you can relate.. Karrie - Mine too.. Michelle - ever my little optimist
Too Funny!
#9 is dead-on
Yes I am the glass half-full girl.
And I truly would be thrilled if my husband told me I was a sexy hottie that often!!! I’m happy if I get it once every two weeks!
i hear you on the therapy thing. me too, i feel like its going to be a 1,000,001