Since it’s Sex Week here at CrankMama, I thought I’d tell you a little about my life during my 2nd week of working again.
First, the pimp calls to set up the meet, identifies the John and tells me where to go, what was ordered, and how much I’ll get.
Then, I get all dolled up, do my quick tantra meditation, grab the lube and whip and go!
Not really. That was my other job.
This job is less remunerative, but also quite a bit less stressful and, let’s face it, much much easier on the wonderflower.
Today is only my 2nd of 3 work days this week and I’m already totally dog tired, hope I never have to use my legs/feet again, and am gripped by the familiar mixture of joy & despair that accompanies working while raising young kids. Ambivalence is the hobgoblin of working mothers everywhere… at least this working mother.
The inner dialogue goes something like this:
Jesus! The kids are driving me CRAZY this morning! When will J get here so I can get OUT and go to work? Thank GOD she’s here so I can go…
I hope V doesn’t do anything cute today that I’ll miss. She WON’T! She’ll be napping most of the time you’re gone anyway!
Ahhh… work. A reprieve. Hot coffee. This is such an interesting spreadsheet. A headache… Shit! I really miss the kids! Look how cute they are in that picture… Was V ever that small? I have GOT to do that photo album before I lose track of time…
I want another baby! NO! You DON’T! You just THINK you do because you’re no longer insane with sleep deprivation! But I do! NO NO NO! What if you had another set of twins? GULP. You’re right.
Only 2 hours more and then I can go home.. I’m so tired today I can’t see straight. Poor V.. I hope she doesn’t miss me.
Home again. Relief.
See? Working girls can’t win…
whip whip
I saw your comment on The Madness Of Modern Families and I had to come visit. I also have a “relaxed” parenting style hence the name slackermommy. Love your blog. I’ll be stalking you.
You know Crankmama, I was just going through this today. The whole, “I’ve got to get to work, my kid is driving me nuts/Ah gee, now I’m working I miss my kid and wonder what she’s up to” thing that makes me so emotionally exhausted at the end of a day, because a ho’s work is never done.
Um, you know what I mean.
Oh man…I’m sending you some positive vibes, my friend…and I just raised a glass of merlot to you. Quite the spot that sooo many honest mothers find themselves in.
So, that said…Here’s to you!
you’ve said it for all working mothers - everywhere! if it wasn’t a bit too long to go on a t-shirt, you’d see me wearing it. fortunately, since i’m well nigh unemployable, i have to work for myself now. just me and writing partner, being grumpy about the world - most therapeutic! but it does mean we eat biscuits all day …
I’m having a little quandry over here trying to decide if I’d be less of a raging bitch, and more contented earth mama if I took on a paying gig.
Sounds like I;m fucked either way! LOL
That is just toooo true!!! You pretty much wrapped it up in a nutshell sista…
But THEN there are heavenly work days like yesterday when I was all focused and having a blast and the kids were with grandma having a blast and life was GEWWWWWWDDDDDDD.
Karrie - I still think a little paying gig works wonders for mommy mental health
Slackermommy - Welcome!! I love your name
MadMuthas - I’m honored by your presence and I so HEAR you about working with another grumpy chick.. It is SO fun!
Paige - so true so true
Kevin - You are a doll
Jen - You rule! Let’s break out the martinis, man!
ditto stalking here. Because that inner dialogue is totally mine - up to and including “but what if I had MORE twins?” !