Darlng O (oldest twin by 10 minutes ) has skin like sugary pudding, a chipped tooth from when she tried to eat a rock (bad mommy) at 18 months, a devilish expression, and a new "I can do what I want" and "I’m going to say things to shock you into silence" defiance that has me reading about developmental stages again.
There is always this freefall of despair when I realize that their kidness has exceeded my momness by quite a distance. It often takes awhile to regroup, Mom up, and find the wherewithal to get on with parenting and being in charge and quit with the cowering in the corner and being afraid of my own kids.
When I’m doubting my ability to overcome whatever wrench has been thrown into the works (hour-long tantrums, hitting, crying, etc. etc. etc.), everyone feels it. The kids can tell I don’t know what the hell to do, so they act accordingly. And it’s hellish and horrid. When I compare myself to the craftmaking, teach your children Spanish, enroll in every toddler playclass known to man, moms, it never ends well.
But if I stop first and ask what I bring to parenting (well, to anything) that is unique, things usually look up.
In honor of O who just yesterday informed me that she "would never listen [to me] again," here’s what I got:
-silliness
-love of reading
-devotion
-occasional brilliant patience
-did I mention silly yet?
So, sisters and brothers, what YOU got?
***
P.S. As I write this, my husband is (actively) suffering from stomach flu, J has a sore throat and cough, and O just woke up crying for water. I decided it was wiser for me to just stay up then to suffer under the illusion that I’d get any sleep at all.
Let’s see….I also have silliness and a love of reading–although I have been known to bark in frustration: I am not your personal librarian! after the 57th board book of the afternoon has been shoved in my face.
-Love of the outdoors.
-I like going places–museums, concerts, Target…lol
-I’m wash and wear
-I like to color
My kids SO know when I’ve forgotten the page of the Mommy Manual on how to deal with a particular situation, so here’s what I’ve got:
-the authority to take away TV (forever and for any reason)
-the best backrubbing hand in the Eastern Seaboard
–the quickest transition from evil eye to loving squeeze, uh, that I can muster in any given situation
Great post!
well - i’m quite musical so expose them to loads of different styles.
fairly spontaneous (within the obvious limits)
up for fun, most of the time
don’t pretend i know if i don’t
i never make pastry - but that’s a kindness really
i’m very affectionate
good enough is good enough for me!
I’ve got the sillies too and a love of reading. I also like to snuggle and tickle and sing stupid made up songs and feed the ducks and go places.
But I do not have patience worth a good goddamn.
- Perfect spelling (they WILL thank me)
- Reading beyond reason
- Capacity to hear and answer three children simultaneously (it’s like circular breathing, I’ve decided; I could probably play didgeridoo, too)
- Very Loud Eyelids. My children always know when my eyes have JUST closed. And that means it is time for one of them to call out…
(not much else to offer. but why did I not realise you have twins? *I* have twins. We should bond, when we have time…)
I have…
-silliness too (must be a twin defense mechanism)
-a big heart
-an ability to make any children’s book fun when read out loud.
-enthusiasm
-leadership ability
There. I feel much better now!