Because you used to be this:
And now you’re this:
And this:
I like you because I just do.
Here’s a little tip from me to you. Sometimes men are in need of extra special attention and loving care. Sometimes they need it more than our kids and our girlfriends and the homeless guy on the street and our jobs and our mothers and everyone else clamoring for our love. The trouble is, they can’t ask for it.
Unlike us, they don’t have a hatful of pals sitting around saying things to them like "You tell her SHE should cook dinner and watch the kids once in awhile and see how SHE likes it!" with a chorus of "Yeahs" backing them up. At best, they get to watch sports and talk about cars and at times like these, even the newest Porsche magazine picture isn’t bringing the joy it should.
Here are some helpful little hints that may indicate that the man in your life is in need of a LOVE TUNE UP:
1. Evidence Type: Conversational
You: "I’m thinking we should have spaghetti for dinner. What do you think?"
Him: "Speaking of sex, how about it?"
—–
You: "Are you mad at me about something?"
Him: *silence*
You: "Is something going on at work?"
Him: *sulk*
You: "C’mon, honey, you can talk to me."
Him: "It wouldn’t hurt you to pay some attention to me once in awhile."
You: *guilty silence*
2. Evidence Type: Behavioral
Signs that the man in your life may need some extra attention include the following:
Ratio of naps to awake time 2/1
Extended instant messaging conversations with people at work
3. Evidence Type: Fun. Is He Having Any?
Actually, no evidence needed for this one. We all know what he’s like when he’s not having any… fun. He’s cranky, doctrinaire, rigid about which knives go in which drawer, and a little more strict with the kids.
Here’s where the man basket comes in. You know ALL about the woman basket (the spa stuff, the scented soaps, the pretty expensive hair goo), but did you know that you can easily assemble a loving man basket that he’ll truly adore?
Here are some suggested items:
Operation Man Basket is starting in earnest at the CrankMama homestead so I’ll keep you posted…
Ok Ladies & Gents,
I’m officially kicking off a Campaign for Kevin to Attend Blogher 2007… You know THAT Kevin.
The one who everyone nominates for awards

And if you don’t know him, you should meet him. He’s funny. And he hardly EVER talks about kids. It’s refreshing and good for a mommy hangover.
So, folks, let’s do it. Let’s get him there.
And if you have anyone else you’d love to see at Blogher 07, send me an email or post a comment here.
This will be fun!!!!
Sometimes I feel like I’m caught between the sacred and the mundane. I live in the netherworld of swearing spiritualists, nicey nice mean mommies, workaholic flex timers, and abstinent imbibers. Lolling between worlds provides the usual noncommittal joys (you can observe but never fall straight into the void because you aren’t, well, committed to being there) and occasional respite from the intensity of feelings suffered by the many living inside the chaos.
I sat with V in my lap this morning smelling her head and watching the twins wrestle around the living room as they waited for their Dad to pick them up for an overnight. I was filled with the usual combination of leaping and joyful freedom dancing and sobby bittersweet missing and loss.
I smiled and imagined a wonderful evening away from the chores and the children. He and I dancing around a candle-lit room, me ravishing in heels and a pretty red dress, him adoring and stunned by my beauty gently guiding me around the floor while the violins played and champagne flutes clinked with toasts of love…
"MOMMY!!! You look weird!! Stop doing that!"
See?