Comments on: Shelter http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/ Red is Good. Fri, 05 Sep 2008 22:42:10 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: creative-type dad http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1123 creative-type dad Tue, 23 Jan 2007 02:58:39 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1123 5 years? Wow! Not even when something fell on your foot? Or when an oil change cost $250? Me neither. 5 years? Wow! Not even when something fell on your foot? Or when an oil change cost $250?

Me neither.

]]> By: Swampgrrl http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1122 Swampgrrl Mon, 22 Jan 2007 18:38:31 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1122 Like Francesca, I had a mother who needed a lot of protection. I think I was five when she first confessed to me her suicidal ideations. Not good. Kids should of course know that their parents aren't always happy people and the world often demands tears. Anything less can give the impression of parent-as-superhuman. But I think it's one thing to cry in front of your kids because you've had a bad day or the world is not feeling like a particularly just place, and another to make the parent/child relationship one about the parent airing all of her/his needs, worries, anxieties to the young kids. Those conversations seem perhaps more appropriate for adult parent/child exchanges. Like Francesca, I had a mother who needed a lot of protection. I think I was five when she first confessed to me her suicidal ideations. Not good.

Kids should of course know that their parents aren’t always happy people and the world often demands tears. Anything less can give the impression of parent-as-superhuman. But I think it’s one thing to cry in front of your kids because you’ve had a bad day or the world is not feeling like a particularly just place, and another to make the parent/child relationship one about the parent airing all of her/his needs, worries, anxieties to the young kids. Those conversations seem perhaps more appropriate for adult parent/child exchanges.

]]> By: ashley http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1121 ashley Mon, 22 Jan 2007 16:28:21 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1121 5 whole years?!?! I'm beyond impressed. I try to protect my girls too, but I've found what you have. Those sweet chubby fingers wiping away my tears are as good as gold. Especially when coupled with that same, sweet, compassionate smile that I recognize from my own face that says "I know it seems bad, but we've got each other. And some crayons. What else is there?" Don't get me started on childcare woes. I'll climb on my soapbox and never come down. Just know I feel your pain. 5 whole years?!?! I’m beyond impressed. I try to protect my girls too, but I’ve found what you have. Those sweet chubby fingers wiping away my tears are as good as gold. Especially when coupled with that same, sweet, compassionate smile that I recognize from my own face that says “I know it seems bad, but we’ve got each other. And some crayons. What else is there?”

Don’t get me started on childcare woes. I’ll climb on my soapbox and never come down. Just know I feel your pain.

]]> By: venessa http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1120 venessa Mon, 22 Jan 2007 14:36:47 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1120 I think the important thing is that not only did you show them that you are a human who cries, you also showed them that one can move beyond sadness to solve problems. But I am an emotional black hole, so I guess I can't really talk. I think the important thing is that not only did you show them that you are a human who cries, you also showed them that one can move beyond sadness to solve problems. But I am an emotional black hole, so I guess I can’t really talk.

]]> By: deb http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1119 deb Sun, 21 Jan 2007 21:51:06 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1119 You sound overwhelmed and sad. It's okay for your kids to see you as human, not the supermom. I can't believe you made it five years without crying, I have a hard time getting through a week without tears. It will get better, it's just so hard when you're in it. Take care. You sound overwhelmed and sad. It’s okay for your kids to see you as human, not the supermom. I can’t believe you made it five years without crying, I have a hard time getting through a week without tears. It will get better, it’s just so hard when you’re in it. Take care.

]]> By: Francesca (Stuntmother) http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1118 Francesca (Stuntmother) Sun, 21 Jan 2007 15:26:24 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1118 I had a mother who needed more protecting than she protected me. I too swore never to make my children think that I was more vulnerable than they are. Still, I do cry in front of them -- I have had no choice as the world falls in on me or the crap just piled up too high. I am not proud of it, but I think as you do -- that there is an element of my humanity, of my existence as a person rather than just as a mother -- that comes through at those moments. And the children have the chance to give you something back -- which I think children need to do. You are being amazing and strong. This situation is horrible, but I know you will work it out. I had a mother who needed more protecting than she protected me. I too swore never to make my children think that I was more vulnerable than they are. Still, I do cry in front of them — I have had no choice as the world falls in on me or the crap just piled up too high. I am not proud of it, but I think as you do — that there is an element of my humanity, of my existence as a person rather than just as a mother — that comes through at those moments. And the children have the chance to give you something back — which I think children need to do.

You are being amazing and strong. This situation is horrible, but I know you will work it out.

]]> By: emma http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1117 emma Sun, 21 Jan 2007 13:29:10 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1117 Wow, you have amazing self control not to have cried in front of them all this time. But I think we all have to let it out now and again. Wow, you have amazing self control not to have cried in front of them all this time. But I think we all have to let it out now and again.

]]> By: callie http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1116 callie Sun, 21 Jan 2007 03:04:32 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1116 Crankmama, We just went through something similar. Have you checked Sittercity.com? I looked briefly for you for the Bellingham area, and there are several sitters aged 25 or over, who can provide part time care- either college students, or moms. i think some might even travel to your home for you. Be sure to spend the ten dollars for the background check, it's worth it. Good luck! callie Crankmama,
We just went through something similar. Have you checked Sittercity.com? I looked briefly for you for the Bellingham area, and there are several sitters aged 25 or over, who can provide part time care- either college students, or moms. i think some might even travel to your home for you. Be sure to spend the ten dollars for the background check, it’s worth it. Good luck!
callie

]]> By: Lawyer Mama http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1115 Lawyer Mama Sun, 21 Jan 2007 02:10:04 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1115 I know how you feel. I try to to shield my children from my tears too because I don't want to confuse or scare them. But it sounds like you've raised some great little girls there. I know how you feel. I try to to shield my children from my tears too because I don’t want to confuse or scare them. But it sounds like you’ve raised some great little girls there.

]]> By: Paige http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1114 Paige Sun, 21 Jan 2007 01:18:42 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/01/19/lovely-things/#comment-1114 I agree with Sarah. By crying, you show your kids that you not only cry just like they do (because you're human, after all) but that it's okay to be in touch with your feelings. I agree with Sarah. By crying, you show your kids that you not only cry just like they do (because you’re human, after all) but that it’s okay to be in touch with your feelings.

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