Emma is here visiting and I’ve yet to see her OUT of this tarty outfit. The corset, she insists, is her armour against the pain of the universe.
Can we help her?
Stay tuned…
Archive for January, 2007
11
Jan
I’m Just Sayin’
Have you ever noticed how much love flows through the blogosphere among the hardworking mamas out there? Why is it that sometimes we can be these FABULOUSLY supportive girlfriends to each other, but when it comes to ourselves we’re parsimonious and suspicious? Is it too difficult to deal out the powerful sweet mama love to the inside girl as well as the out? I think it is.
Truly.
What would happen if you applied all that sassy assertiveness ("you tell HIM that he should get his ASS out of bed and COOK, goddammit!!") to ourselves ("Honey, could you help out with breakfast tomorrow?")? What would happen if our compliments ("Sister, you are so gorgeous! Don’t you see what I see?") went inward as well as out ("Hey you, you’re definitely lookin’ like a hot mama!")?
Would we laugh? Roll our eyes and discount it as weird self-obsessive solipsism?
What does love mean when it happens inside the ribs of our souls as well as outside in the world of growing little people, relationships, and friendship?
What if we all vowed to be a better inward friends? If we vowed to stop the nagging, griping, jean squeezing, sideways frowny-faux-face-liftin’-mirror-glancing, and just LOOOOVVVVED ourselves?
What would happen if these Mom / Power Woman Engines were allowed to revv up to their full power and unleash into the world of politics, change, peace, and power? Would we finally realize the hopes of the suffragettes?
Would we be able to realize the goals of groups like MomsRising?
Or would we be lost in the wilderness of beauty and narcissism?
***
In other news, William over at Gunfighter’s View kindly invited me to post over there today. He’s interested in starting a more informal blog exchange, so check him out.
08
Jan
Beauty and the MILF
Thanks for trying to call into our BlogTalk Radio show tonight… Kristen’s show will be rescheduled due to technical difficulties. We’ll keep you posted…
This is beautiful Francesca from Stuntmother. Go to her site to see my imitation MILF picture, then read on…
One of the transitions many women face when they become mothers is the reconfiguration of their self-worth and self-perceptions. Many women, myself included, find the extra fluffiness and juiciness that accompanies mothering young babies and children incompatible with feeling sexy and beautiful.
Many of us who’ve claimed feminism (such as it is) as our red-headed step-child, sometimes have trouble reconciling a desire to feel and look sexy and beautiful, with feminist messages we’ve received about the negative impacts of sexual objectification on women and girls (think eating disorders, rape, incest, sexual abuse).
But I’ve always felt better in lipstick and heels, and I want to be fit and healthy and pretty. Not in a celebrity way, but in a “I am a beautiful woman inside and out” sort of way.
So, what of MILF*? MILF is a heartily politically incorrect word that captures a mother’s desire to be sexy, to be a woman, to be desired.
JOIN THE DISCUSSION:
By tuning in as Francesca (StuntMother) and I try and unravel the mystery of MILF with Kristen’s help on Motherhood Uncensored’s Radio Show
RESCHEDULED DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES…. SORRY
.
To listen in AND SAY SOMETHING, simply call (646)915-8634
To just listen, go to ITunes, Podcasts, and search by MotherhoodUncensored
Once you’re there, you’ll need to subscribe to the feed to hear it.
*originally in the terrible but culturally significant movie “American Pie” and stands for Mother I’d Like to Fuck
My blood started boiling this morning when I read this at Babble. It seems one of my counterparts over at Stroller Derby is a massive organic mama.
I am not. Not. NOT. NOT.
In the immortal words of my darling Melissa Etheridge:
SOMEBODY BRING ME SOME WATER!!
I feel a huge debate coming on…
Here’s what I wrote in response:
As discussed earlier today on Babble there are quite a few people who equate the book “Babywise” with torture, withholding food, and even spanking. Setting limits, it seems, is tantamount to withholding love. Most sentient and sane adults would agree that spanking a chid is not an effective method of teaching discipline. I would heartily agree with the well-articulated argument against such silliness.
But it’s the self-righteousness of many advocates for attachment parenting that sticks in my craw. An example: “I nursed my daughter until she was 3.5 and then only stopped because her brother was due for an appearance. Both of them and their older brother I carried around in a sling, slept with, rocked, sang to, stayed up with all night if I had to, and fed when they were hungry.”
With all due respect, what is one to make of such statements? I am currently struggling with weaning my twenty-month old. Am I to conclude that by attempting to do this, expressly against her grasping wishes, I’m withholding love? Being a less-than-perfect parent?
I think that is the conclusion implied.
I used “Babywise” with my infant twins. I didn’t ‘torture’ them, I merely tried to cut myself a little slack. If, by waiting two minutes before picking them up, I was encouraging self-soothing, was I Attila the Hun? Was ‘parent directed feeding’ a rigid torture device? Not at all. What it meant, in my case, was that the twins ate every 2 -3 hours instead of every 15 minutes, once they were three months old.
You know why I boycott La Leche League and shy away from the baby-wearing legions filling local parks? Because of the judgment.
Surprisingly, my Mormon relatives have never judged me for my choices, it has always been the attachment parenting babes I run into around my hippie town. And I know not everyone who believes in breastfeeding on demand and family beds is judgmental, but I can’t take that chance.
Isn’t motherhood and life itself hard enough without competing for Most Perfect Holy Organic Mother of the Universe?
Give me a cranky, sassy, strict bedtime mommy any day of the week. At least she accepts me for who I am and sees that my love for my children is deep and constant, even though I let them eat at McDonald’s.
**
Karrie says it so beautifully here:
We need fewer magazine articles about how to wear our babies or put the magic back into our marriages, and more articles about how really support one another as mothers and women. We especially need to reach out to new mothers–even those who insist that everything is fine, because we all know that most likely things are far from fine.
**
I’d love to hear what you think about the whole thing, oh wise and cranky saucy readers. Continue reading ‘Call Me Attachment Parent & Die’
If you haven’t yet listened to the 1970s album “Free to Be You and Me,” you are missing a lookinglass into the hippie upbringing of many of us in the American West.
With songs like “William Has a Doll” and “Brothers and Sisters” you’ll laugh (& cry) at the funny and quiet brilliance of the revolution of telling girls they could be firefighters and boys they could be ballet dancers.
Whatever your opinion about those of us raised in this carb-loving, first-name-parent-calling atmosphere, the songs are wonderful and sweet, and surely an improvement over Barney OR Raffi.
Read more here...
03
Jan
What Price, Peace?
In one of Chris Rock’s stand up comedy routines, he gets a great good laugh by discussing the link between war and sexual frustration.
Not surprisingly there are many others who agree with this theory.
The blogger “BlondeSense” believes that “blow jobs given to the right personnel on a regular basis would no doubt bring world peace.”
Where is Monica when we need her most?
My New Year’s Resolution:
Have More Fun
That’s it.
**
Last night I dreamed that Presidential debates were on and Al Gore stood over a seated President Bush and gave him a verbal dressing down. Then, Christine Todd Whitman (former NJ Governor) stood up, walked over the President Bush, held his face lovingly in her hands, and spit.
Looks like my subconscious is already off to a roaring start.
**
Listen to Kristen Chase’s Blog Talk Radio discussion about DVD players in cars tonight — My husband is going to be on the “against” side. He’s got a great voice so you should check him out.
To listen in, go to BlogTalkRadio
