Archive for April, 2007

30
Apr

Working Girls Can (Occasionally) Win

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Every mama needs sweet good meaningful work and a deep belief in her intelligence and worth as a non-mama person.

Like most mothers, work has constantly been redefined during the 5 years I’ve been a parent. At first, I maintained the need to continue my career climb, managing multi-million dollar budgets, supervising staff. When I moved into managing a nonprofit and then got pregnant with my last pudding pie, I was convinced I could do it all. I didn’t figure in the strain of long hours, last baby time slipping away, or the huge stress of managing work politics on myself and family.

I’ve since come to appreciate the down-time, free-time, that can occasionally be associated with a less structured work life. And even though I’m often a short-order cook, kicking bag, toddler tantrum recipient, when it’s sunny and they can run around outside, life is good.

So last month, when the Babble rulers asked Stefania (CityMama) and I to take over editing and generating stories for StrollerDerby, I happily agreed. Being able to write has made staying home easier (bearable?) for me. I never would have predicted this time last year (as I “resigned” from my fancy executive director job), that I’d be so happy virtually employed.

I still go to the wonderful nonprofit a few days a week to do spreadsheets and visit with the people and wear cute clothes, I’m spending more and more time at home.

And most days, I look around and think “huh” “this is pretty nice.”

28
Apr

Prom Night

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Went out to dinner tonight looked around and saw the future!! Mine and theirs. The prom girls were walking around in just about nothing I tell you (and looking damn perky while they were at it). The 50 - somethings were all blessedly child-free and fabulous in their laughing martinis and tables full of stories. What a strange evening to see these two extremes and to wonder what it will be like to be in my 50s with beautiful daughters wandering around restaurants oblivious to the horny drooly stares of the men in the room?

24
Apr

The Bitch is Back and She’s My Girl

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The bitch. She’s my girl. My people.

Today I took J. to visit her future Kindergarten Class and while there I met a funny, saucy, cranky girl. I think I’m in love. It’s hard to make friends these days, what with the schedules, and the different values, and the opinions and the swearing. I still have my posse from college days and some fabulous internet friends, but there’s nothing like a real live girlfriend to bring me joy. So the parents were either hovering or letting their visiting pre-K kids make their way to this or that activity table. Maureen was standing back and letting her girl run free (a good sign). She offered friendly waves and encouragement but nothing too crazy-mommy-worldish. When she mentioned her big wig job as a regional manager of thus and so, and her pro-Barak Obama bumper sticker, I knew I had to get her number.

As we crouched on the floor and kvetched about Bellingham (ok, it was mainly me), she laughed and joked and swore. And when cheery annoying Kindergarten teacher asked us if we had any questions, we both just laughed and said “No!” and watched while she puzzled and slunked away.

So now… how to set up the first get together meet-up without seeming stalkerish. Should I wait 3 days? Or go ahead and send her an email today….

23
Apr

Mommy Juice

Not that kind.. this kind…

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I’m attempting to wean V. Again. Because nursing a toddler? Is like being attacked by a pack of wolves.

A few weeks ago, breastfeeding became an integral part of her louder and more demanding tantrums. They now include her chasing me around screaming “Boob!” “Boob!” It’s time for mama to have her body back.

Weaning is such a tricky business. There are the “child led weaning” advocates, the “What? She’s still breastfeeding?” people, and then there’s me. V is my last baby. My sweetest pudding. I have been ambivalent about cutting her off because that will require me to face up to the fact that she’s not a baby any longer. She’s a full-fledged-mini-Mussolini-with pretty blond hair.

A screamer, biter, kicker, firecracker, who took the place of my mild-mannered cheerful sprout.

She and I have come all this long way together. And who doesn’t appreciate the worshipful attention and nutrients served up at one’s own body store? But then the time comes and you have to say goodbye…. to this phase… It’s not going to be easy.

***
Meanwhile, thanks to the nice peeps over at MomJunction for linking to CrankMama all week. Give them some love and go check them out!

21
Apr

Pretty Pretty Math

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Pretty Shoes + Pretty Toes + South Beach Diet is Working = Happy Happy Mama

17
Apr

Role Play

The people. They’ve finally taken over. Mommy is down with buggy bugs and has handed over home rule to twin five year olds. Unsure of their intentions, but it’s not looking good from the couch. Send help.

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15
Apr

Play Dates I Will Accept.

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For any of the nice ladies who occasionally send me emails asking if I want to set up a playdate or play group for our kids, I’ve created a nice handy list of the types of playdates that I revel in.

I will gladly attend a play group or play date in which any of the following topics are discussed in depth:

1. Lesbian tantra weekends - what you learned, how straight women and their husbands can benefit from your education.

2. Drink recipes - which drinks you find most effective for killing mommy blahs.

3. Shoes - why you love them, where you buy them, the width, depth, and breadth of your collection.

4. Sex life -
your methods for having fabulous lovin every day in your boudoir temple of love.

5. Trips you are planning to take without kids - cruises, weekend trips down highway 101 for wine tasting, even an overnight at a hotel. I’m all ears.

6. Humorous birth stories
- nothing gory here, ladies, just funny tales of epidurals and laughing nurses, something involving you having the last laugh.

7. Politics
- I will debate and discuss politics of any flavor, kind, political persuasion. Just be smart and quick about it, and I’ll be all yours.

8. Books
- I will discuss any and all books as long as they are not on Oprah’s book list and as long as they are not authored by anyone with the last name Grisham or Collins.

9. Passion - I will discuss any old thing you’re passionate about as long as you’re, well, passionate about it. Gesticulations and yelling welcome.

That pretty much sums it up. Oh, and if you are going to bring your kids along, would you please make sure they are not the topic of conversation and that they don’t interrupt our fascinating conversation every two seconds? Don’t have kids at all? So much the better!!

11
Apr

A Working Girl Can’t Win…

This is for all of us who are less than we dreamed we’d be, or more, depending on the day… we lose ourselves in the rush and the rain.. watching as the seductress makes way for the mommy and wife… and wait patiently for her return.

One of my favorite poets, Deborah Garrison, writes about being a woman, a wife, a working girl.

Worked Late on a Tuesday Night

Again.
Midtown is blasted out and silent,
drained of the crowd and its doggy day.
I trample the scraps of deli lunches
some ate outdoors as they stared dumbly
or hooted at us career girls-the haggard
beauties, the vivid can-dos, open raincoats aflap
in the March wind as we crossed to and fro
in front of the Public Library

Never thought you’d be one of them,
did you, little lady?
Little Miss Phi Beta Kappa,
with your closetful of pleated
skirts, twenty-nine till death do us
part! Don’t you see?
The good schoolgirl turns thirty,
forty, singing the song of time management
all day long, lugging the briefcase

home. So at 10:00 PM
you’re standing here
with your hand in the air,

cold but too stubborn to reach
into your pocket for a glove, cursing
the freezing rain as though it were
your difficulty. It’s pathetic,
and nobody’s fault but
your own. Now

the tears,
down into the collar.
Cabs, cabs, but none for hire.
I haven’t had dinner; I’m not half
of what I meant to be.
Among other things, the mother
of three. Too tired, tonight,
to seduce the father.

(C) 1998 Deborah Garrison All rights reserved. ISBN: 0-679-45145-5

09
Apr

Laid.

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Gettling laid? No? Yes? Come on, you can trust me, I won’t tell a soul. I’ll just write up a little something. It won’t hurt a bit. But let me tell you, parents writing and thinking about sex is a good thing (especially if the writing and the thinking don’t replace the doing. What?)

Mitch McDad’s counting the days, and ways, and debating vibrators, Redneck Mommy is fornicating with her husband and making you laugh your puritan off while she does it, Emma (as per usual) is encouraging afternoon delight (WTF? Who has time for an afternoon pedicure?), and don’t forget to check out Kristen’s excellent Mominatrix over at Imperfect Parent. She’s writing all about it, baby.

For more fun with sex without actually having any, read on. Meanwhile, I’m not afraid of numbers, people. Did you know that some parents are having oodles of sex? I’m talking TWICE or THRICE each week. Imagine!!
***
Speaking of numbers, did you know there are only another 3 weeks until Atlanta?? Until I get to see the Gold Lame Goddess of MILF-Land?

And I literally cannot wait!

***
Karrie nominated me for Hottest Mommy Blog (Does that mean I’m pretty or that I write hot things? Hmmmmmm). If you vote, I’ll give you a kiss. With tongue.

08
Apr

Attack of the Killer Bunnies: Peeps, Bunnies, and Rookie Parents

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After this and this and this, you’d think I would not have been surprised and discomfited by a plaintive question over breakfast: “Mommy, when is the Easter Bunny coming?”

Naughty Mommy was betting that the little people were still little enough to “forget” that Easter in these parts = eggs filled with candy. What a dope. The South-Beachification of our refrigerator has not trickled down yet.

Lucky for us, atheist golfing Daddy was able to make an emergency stop at the store, load up some eggs, and carefully place them around the living and dining rooms.

Phew! That was a close one!



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