- Schedule breakdowns to occur after all the children are fed and bathed and the house is reasonably clean
- Drive fast around town but only when there are no small children present.
- Buy clothes that make you feel sexy and young, yet are comfortable and not restricting (hard to feel sexy while your jelly roll is lopping over your belt)
- Swear loudly and often (and if possible, not around the kids).
- Get in touch with your inner lioness by taking up kickboxing, or watching it on TV
- Watch the L Word (what is it about hot lesbian sex that just makes me proud to be a woman?)
- Make friends with other women who *also* want to have midlife crisis.
Hell, there’s a “Future MILF” club, why shouldn’t there be a “Midlife Crisis” club?
Excellent advice. here’s a couple of others…
Have an affair…with a box of low-fat cookies
Turn the music up to full volume… on your iPod (of course) so as not to disturb the neighbors
Dye your hair a crazy color like pink or purple… with temporary dye as part of your Halloween attire
All good tips and I am going to take them to heart. BTW, are you channeling my life right now?
So have these worked for you? I only ask because I still haven’t found just the right outlet.
And lesbian sex? Doesn’t make me proud. Makes me hot!
There already is one. We’re called “bloggers.”
1,2, 4, & 6….yep..check
Am laughing over No. 1.
Because –
In order for it to be a true nervous breakdown, aren’t the kids supposed to witness it and remain forever scarred so that they one day write memoirs in which we are featured as selfish and eccentric mothers? I’d hate to see my build-up wasted!
Is it still technically a midlife crisis if I’m under 30?
What if I just found out my contemporaries from school now have post-graduate degrees from MIT and Yale?
What if I just gained 15 pounds for no apparent reason?
What if I just read “The Secret Life Of Bees” and cried for about 3 hours afterward?
What if my kids remember me the same way I remember MY mother? As physically present but mentally and emotionally AWOL? What if they don’t understand or appreciate anything about me until they’re too old to forgive me?
This and other stuff. This is why I am having a midlife crisis earlier than I’ve got any right to do so. This is why I wish I was back on the left coast, in striking distance of a drink with Redsy.
I’m with you on all but No. 6. Being an “L” I quite arrogantly find my own sex life hotter than the babes on the show–LOL!
For my mid-life crisis I took up motorcycling which is also a way of getting in touch with the inner lioness while also scaring yourself completely grey so there are no questions about going slowly grey.
Glad to hear that we can tap our “inner lioness” by watching kickboxing on TV. I wouldn’t want to have to go to a gym or anything crazy like that
How “mom” of you that you want your midlife crisis to be responsible! The male model throws all that out the window!
Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
I’m pleased to say I’m only on the mere brink of a quarter life crisis.