Comments on: Witness http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/ Red is Good. Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:19:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Momo Fali http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2391 Momo Fali Thu, 29 Nov 2007 03:42:50 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2391 Yes, it's all about time and patience. You will know when and if it is right. Yes, it’s all about time and patience. You will know when and if it is right.

]]> By: Karen http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2384 Karen Wed, 28 Nov 2007 13:58:39 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2384 I'm finding, after several consecutive failures, that maybe the key is in the relationship I have with myself: if that's good, the rest will follow. I'll update yu on this in a few years. I’m finding, after several consecutive failures, that maybe the key is in the relationship I have with myself: if that’s good, the rest will follow.

I’ll update yu on this in a few years.

]]> By: karrie http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2380 karrie Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:24:49 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2380 FWIW, I struggle. Privately, for the most part, because I do not know how to write about my isolation, frustration, etc. without ripping the relationship apart, and I don't want to go there. I applaud your courage in writing honestly about this time in your life. FWIW, I struggle. Privately, for the most part, because I do not know how to write about my isolation, frustration, etc. without ripping the relationship apart, and I don’t want to go there.

I applaud your courage in writing honestly about this time in your life.

]]> By: tatonka http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2377 tatonka Wed, 28 Nov 2007 04:31:54 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2377 Your path is a difficult one... and I feel for you, your family, and your girls. Your thoughts have been here for all to read for quite some time, and yet I sense there is something missing. You're holding back..... One thing I've learned in life is that no one around you will ever be happy if you are not happy. Your girls will never be happy if you aren't- and their lives will never be happy when you fail at relationships- especially when you let them see you flounder. Children learn from experience, and perhaps it's time to ask yourself: is this the chance to right the past and truly understand the power within myself or do I choose to let the circle of destruction repeat itself time and time again? Blindly throwing yourself into the storm that is the world around us while caring only for the lives of your daughters will get you absolutely nowhere. It's like the little message on the airplane safety guide... you know... the one with the oxygen masks. You have to take care of -yourself- before you can begin take care of your children. What I have to say is this: Instead of focusing on escape, guarding, hiding, and suspicion- perhaps you should do exactly the opposite. Give opportunity, trust, compassion, and dialogue the chance to mend the problems of the past and the present. Only when the walls in your own mind have come down, will you begin to see the light of day. Best of luck to you and yours... ... the season of light is upon us .. Your path is a difficult one… and I feel for you, your family, and your girls.

Your thoughts have been here for all to read for quite some time, and yet I sense there is something missing. You’re holding back…..

One thing I’ve learned in life is that no one around you will ever be happy if you are not happy.

Your girls will never be happy if you aren’t- and their lives will never be happy when you fail at relationships- especially when you let them see you flounder. Children learn from experience, and perhaps it’s time to ask yourself: is this the chance to right the past and truly understand the power within myself or do I choose to let the circle of destruction repeat itself time and time again?

Blindly throwing yourself into the storm that is the world around us while caring only for the lives of your daughters will get you absolutely nowhere. It’s like the little message on the airplane safety guide… you know… the one with the oxygen masks. You have to take care of -yourself- before you can begin take care of your children.

What I have to say is this:

Instead of focusing on escape, guarding, hiding, and suspicion- perhaps you should do exactly the opposite. Give opportunity, trust, compassion, and dialogue the chance to mend the problems of the past and the present. Only when the walls in your own mind have come down, will you begin to see the light of day.

Best of luck to you and yours…

… the season of light is upon us ..

]]> By: cronznet http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2376 cronznet Wed, 28 Nov 2007 02:36:53 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2376 Being a person who found my two instead of my one I think the basics are the same regardless of the paradigm. Honesty and integrity with yourself so you can interact that way with another. It seems from what little I glean here that you are on that path, presently, and feel you may not have been here before. Just no telling what you'll discover, discard, incorporate as you go forward. Being a person who found my two instead of my one I think the basics are the same regardless of the paradigm. Honesty and integrity with yourself so you can interact that way with another. It seems from what little I glean here that you are on that path, presently, and feel you may not have been here before. Just no telling what you’ll discover, discard, incorporate as you go forward.

]]> By: Julie Pippert http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2375 Julie Pippert Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:08:24 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2375 Interestingly, my mother and I were just talking about this over Thanksgiving. Even more interestingly, two bloggers just wrote about love and marriage and had intriguing points. The first one said she and her husband went to marriage counseling before getting married, where they learned not how to avoid argument, but how to argue constructively. The second found insight in classic literature where she decided love depends on how the other person makes us feel about ourselves. I'm not sure I know anything, but I have 14 years of marriage under my belt so maybe I know something. I'm not sure what though. A different blogger once asked why people can't be as open about marriage on blogs as parenting. I think it's because one is a common story and the other is completely unique, in a way. I agree with Thordora too. Julie <a href="http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Using My Words</a> Interestingly, my mother and I were just talking about this over Thanksgiving. Even more interestingly, two bloggers just wrote about love and marriage and had intriguing points. The first one said she and her husband went to marriage counseling before getting married, where they learned not how to avoid argument, but how to argue constructively. The second found insight in classic literature where she decided love depends on how the other person makes us feel about ourselves.

I’m not sure I know anything, but I have 14 years of marriage under my belt so maybe I know something. I’m not sure what though.

A different blogger once asked why people can’t be as open about marriage on blogs as parenting. I think it’s because one is a common story and the other is completely unique, in a way.

I agree with Thordora too.

Julie
Using My Words

]]> By: thordora http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2374 thordora Tue, 27 Nov 2007 12:10:15 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2374 I came close to losing my marriage once because between my illness and what I thought I wanted, I pushed him away, and confused interdependance for dependance. I'm able to see it clearly now, and know that leaning on him doesn't mean I absolutely need him. We're partners in this life. However, he's my first and best love, found while floudering as a teenager. I accept him as he is, and always have. I've always figured that some people just aren't able to do that as easily, are pickier for themselves, more demanding. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. And maybe-maybe you're waiting for your "one", the one who you can lean on and not worry for, the one who fits into your life. I believe in many ways I'm lucky to have found that early. I hope you find it too. Everyone deserves the other half of themselves. I came close to losing my marriage once because between my illness and what I thought I wanted, I pushed him away, and confused interdependance for dependance.

I’m able to see it clearly now, and know that leaning on him doesn’t mean I absolutely need him. We’re partners in this life.

However, he’s my first and best love, found while floudering as a teenager. I accept him as he is, and always have. I’ve always figured that some people just aren’t able to do that as easily, are pickier for themselves, more demanding. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

And maybe-maybe you’re waiting for your “one”, the one who you can lean on and not worry for, the one who fits into your life. I believe in many ways I’m lucky to have found that early.

I hope you find it too. Everyone deserves the other half of themselves.

]]> By: Kvetch http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2372 Kvetch Tue, 27 Nov 2007 04:32:54 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2372 As a divorced mom I've had to make many choices about what I tell whom. It might seem easier to tell everyone everything to garner a wealth of knowledge and opinions, but sometimes the best decisions are made right in our own heads, all on our own. I don't keep secrets, but I do have a respect for privacy - and think there is a difference. Your path is unknown, but you are on the right track to determine it. As a divorced mom I’ve had to make many choices about what I tell whom. It might seem easier to tell everyone everything to garner a wealth of knowledge and opinions, but sometimes the best decisions are made right in our own heads, all on our own.

I don’t keep secrets, but I do have a respect for privacy - and think there is a difference.

Your path is unknown, but you are on the right track to determine it.

]]> By: MammaLoves http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2371 MammaLoves Tue, 27 Nov 2007 04:26:56 +0000 http://redsy.com/2007/11/26/witness/#comment-2371 I watch nervously from the sidelines cheering you on the whole time. I watch nervously from the sidelines cheering you on the whole time.

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