girls girls girls

Archive for the 'girls girls girls' Category

Jan

Bawdy Body?

By Redsy 7 Comments

Categories: Ask Me Something, girls girls girls and hoo hoo hooo

Her Bad Mother’s post about WonderBaby’s little euphemism got me thinking about parents and kids and the words we teach (or don’t teach) them to use. Maybe I read too much “Our Body Ourselves” as a young person, or maybe my Mom dragged me to one too many NOW meetings. Whatever the case, I came into parenting assured that teaching children the correct terminology for their bodies would furnish them with knowledge and power and pride.

Knowing the accurate words for themselves seemed an excellent first step in empowering them to know who to ask for what, when, and how they could carry themselves confidently through life. And when I had girls, I felt even more strongly about that.

Fast forward six years and each evening I’m reminded of this solemn undertaking in all its asinine glory.

“Mama, she touched my vagina without permission!!”

“EW. Your vagina STINKS!”

You get the idea.

I’ve promulgated such pride and power and accuracy that I’m afraid my inner Maiden Aunt rears her head simultaneous to each evening’s outcry. “Ladies. Please refrain from yelling out every little thought about your body. Let’s work on discretion.”

Yes. Discretion. A powerful motivator of 6 year olds everywhere.

I should write a parenting book.

Even though I flinch a bit inside, and admire that my friend had the smarts to teach her daughter to call “nursing,” “snack” (I know you’ll be shocked to hear that my youngest just calls out loudly “I want the BOOOB!!”), I am a bit proud of my daughters. They are weird, strong and outspoken. And haven’t yet learned to buckle under and act properly.

Let’s hope they never do…

For more fun with anatomy, go to Strollerderby

Oct

We Have Good Genes

By Redsy 10 Comments

Categories: Bite My Recipe, Pal, Fun Games, awake and girls girls girls

I’m braving the world of cardboard, patience, and sugar-infused gratitude and have agreed (in a mumbly way) to make my adorable twin daughters Halloween costumes this year –because they are unfortunately of an age where I can’t just whip out last year’s Costco specials and convince them it’s all new again. Little buggers are getting smarter every day … while I appear to be losing braincells and beauty faster than a varnish-eating reptile.

Since all the costumes I can (theoretically) put together revolve around cardboard boxes, glue, and sharp kid-dangerous cutters, our options are somewhat limited to square things. To wit: robot, candy machine girl, square pumpkin, rabbit (also square). Won’t this be a delight?

I could drive over the Costco and spend $60 on 2 ladybugs and call it good, but this year I want something more. I want them to experience the fun and goofy frivolity associated with failed home craft projects. It’s in their genes, they might as well get used to it.

Besides, the glorious forgiveness and imagination of our children is absolutely the best reason to procreate in the first place… Stay tuned…

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Want to write for Strollerderby? Here’s how…

Oct

And All the Toddlers Say… FREEDOM!

By Redsy 9 Comments

Categories: Reds and girls girls girls

When the twins climbed out of their cribs over 3 years ago, it was a dark dark day. What ensued was a battle of mythic proportions which I lost time and time and time again. Two toddlers giggling and rampaging freely through a bedroom is much like a cyclone in a living room. Furniture is overturned, nerves are shattered. Mommy becomes mean and impatient and scritchy in the extreme.

V climbed out of her crib three days ago and a similar (though dramatically less noisome) kerfuffle has overtaken our previously peaceful nights… and morning naptimes.

I believe there is a need for some kind of allowable Toddler-Keeping contraption that would buy parents much needed sleep…. Maybe:

Mommy’s Lovey Cage
Terrific Toddler Trampoline Sleeper with Four-Sided Gentle Wonder Netting
Benadryl DripoMatic
You’re a Big Girl Now Sleep Encasement!
Fort Freedom (with Locking Doors!)

Or maybe there’s a magical place where Mommies can go to sleep in a capsule while their children play and giggle all night long…

More fun sleep freedom ideas today at Babble…

#21

On the other hand, I see something like this and then I feel like if she never stays in her crib again, it’s perfectly fine with me… snif

Sep

Mother Plucker

By Redsy 28 Comments

Categories: Every Mama Needs..., girls girls girls and truth

When I became a mother 5 1/2 years ago, I had the usual trepidations (twin pregnancy, a very humbling experience), but they were primarily related to identity and large asses and careers plummeting. The worst that happened (single parenting, sick babies, loneliness and isolation) was only terrible on reflection. These challenges occurred in a tunnel of daily-ness, determination, and survival, the kind of struggle that is blessedly free of time to realize the pit one’s in.

And the fierce love, Mommy the Lionheart person who emerged… I liked her. She was a tough chick with something to fight for, with a whole nest full of innocents to protect. Protect!! … Finally a purpose for all that argument and verve and intensity.

Little by little, the thought would pass through my tired busy mind that they were changing me, protecting me. I would swiftly dismiss it (I didn’t want to be one of those parents — the ones that use their kids energy and love to feed themselves). So I muscled along, determined that this love would be one-way, sacrificial, selfless. It was my crowning glory, my most secret pride (that I loved my children more than myself, that they were better and more deserving than I)…

But this sacrifice (even this quiet fierce kind — whose outside appearance was “those annoying kids” to my friends, but at home was “can I get you anything else, honey?”), took a measure of me, and killed it, broke it. And even while there was an inside thought that this was as it should be, there was a wild girl inside that wouldn’t have it. That wouldn’t couldn’t live this way. So I drank. Too much. Too often. Until “occasionally” became “daily”… until “for fun” became “because I need it to get through…”

And so I’ve reached another crossroads of Motherhood— the best thing I’ve ever done, will ever do. I want to give my daughters my whole self, my full standing up tall singing self. To do this, I need to reclaim some pieces for me… so that these, my most beloved daughters, the most precious girls, will learn that to be wild and free AND a mother is possible. Is necessary.

So I’ve decided to give up my beloved glass(es) of evening wine. For my daughters, but mostly for myself.

Because I want to believe we mamas can be wild and free, without aid of any substance but our loving tough hearts, and big big dreams…

Motherhood - It Changes You

Sep

Pilgrim Souls

By Redsy 3 Comments

Categories: Love Love Love, Reds and girls girls girls

My favorite poets, writers, bloggers all have one thing in common: they are all seekers… after truth and beauty, after peace, love, joy, and understanding. They are standing there open-hearted, looking up at the sky and smiling or crying their questions out to the universe. Those who seem all fixed up.. prim and together don’t seem as lovely or artful as those with little cracks where the light shines in.

Perhaps that’s why I love a good potty-mouth mama, a woman who isn’t afraid to talk about what’s really going on in her soul, in her dreams (outside of who is potty-trained and who isn’t sleeping through the night), in her heart.

It is these open, brave people who help me walk truly in my own shoes.. who give me the courage to chase after the biggest dreams, the biggest love, and not just settle into my spiritual easy chair and snooze.

To all of you peppers out there, this one’s for you:

WHEN YOU ARE OLD

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

–W. B. Yeats

PEPPER GIRLZ RULE

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Today at Babble, the heartbreak when your child is left out, bullied, or otherwise mistreated. Ouch!

Aug

Imaginary Best Friend

By R 16 Comments

Categories: Be Merry, Good Girlfriends Do... and girls girls girls

My daughters are starting Kindergarten in a little over a week and I admit that in addition to the thrills of seeing them enter school (school!!), the prospect of meeting new people and possibly making new friends is exciting as well.

Since my daughters were born I’ve always worked outside the home. I’ve never joined Mommy & Me classes, never attended playdates, never EVER went to Gymboree. I *did* go to a new mother’s group for 2 weeks until my sleep deprivation (and potty mouth) decided it was time to depart for edgier climes. I don’t feel like I fit in to the usual mommy groups… Hence, the joy of meeting and making sweet lady friends on-line… (all of whom are even better in person)

So the possibility that I might actually make a REAL LIFE mommy friend has me endlessly excited and terminally crossing my fingers that somewhere in this school I’ll meet a kindred soul. Maybe someone as cool and funny as her, or her, or even her.

Here is a picture of my dream girl:

1. Swears

2. Drinks

3. Reads

4. Talks about sex

5. Wears cute shoes

6. Whip Smart

7. Sassy, edgy, big-brained, and big hearted.

And my imaginary friend will hardly *ever* talk solely about her kids. Oh and? She would love to sit and giggle over an intimate glass of wine.

And I have a funny feeling she isn’t the type of gal to wear this:

But she might wear this:

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More fodder for the breast-feeders to hate me today at Babble

Aug

Who’s Afraid of the Mommy Wars?

By R 11 Comments

Categories: Every Mama Needs..., Fun Games and girls girls girls

Had enough of the mommy wars? Despite the fact that many of us claim to be all done with the slings and arrows, there is no way around the fact that motherhood is incendiary. Newsweek’s article “Enough with the Mommy Wars” is case in point.Mojo Mom takes author Kathleen Deveny to task for neglecting the deeper issues and sticking to the shallow end of mom-theory typified by mommy lit lite. Expecting Executive demands an apology and encourages Newsweek to turn to better sources for the real story on motherhood, including BlogHer. Last week, Kelly wondered if we’ve become narcissist mommies.

But really, what is the big deal? Ms. Deveny commits heresy by claiming she’s bored to death of the mommy wars and the snobbiness on message boards ( the Internet makes mommy mean) as well as the tiresome taxonomy of motherhood represented by mom lit (rocker mamas, MILFs, momzillas, slummy mummies…). I say go ahead and be bored and oversimplify as much as you like. Write about how dull it all is in Times, Newsweek and the New York Times. You’re missing the point.

That the Mommy Wars exist primarily online and in print doesn’t mean they aren’t real. They provide a safer (and less confrontational) outlet for people to yell about childrearing. Just take a look over at the comments generated on Babble by the hospital formula ban and one easily sees what all the fuss is about.

These debates serve a real useful purpose. They help us parent better. They help us articulate and define our positions. They help us understand different approaches and viewpoints more effectively. And yes, they are also silly and catty and petty. But the Mommy Wars are also empowering and enlightening. And that is why I hope they continue for a long long time.

**cross-posted at Babble**

Jul

this time we didn’t even talk about oral sex

By R 15 Comments

Categories: Sexual and girls girls girls

Well, not that I remember.

Homeward now and further reflections on the power of BlogHer. Not the sessions, or the classes, but the force and passion of women in a room together chatting about the world.

But it wasn’t without it’s moments — this gathering. The conversation/debate about whether the “momosphere” is cliquey — the hurt feelings the somewhat heated discussions — did raise some crucial issues. There is clearly a hierarchy to the mommy blogosphere — a slumber-party funniness replete with talent and longevity (most of these sweeties have been blogging for around 2 years — which is like 15 in blog years) that is totally deserved, but honestly can be somewhat intimidating.

But to get caught up in that is missing the whole point. Truthfully, I like to believe there is enough room for plenty more writers ….an endless supply of room, and air, and so many important stories we all, YOU, need to share.

Attending BlogHer made me so grateful, to the women writers I read, who help me every day, grapple with the loud small people, laugh at the total oddness of the human condition. This laughter and storytelling is creating paradigmatic shift in politics, activism, self-expression… of this I’m convinced.

Even poor conference attendees like me (giggling away in the back with these two) could feel the simmering revolution.

What revolution?

Something like this.

Oh. And, I’m starting a Lisa Stone Fanclub (she’s one of the founders of BlogHer and is gorgeous and smart and I want to be her in my next life, rather than the beetle they have me scheduled to become, those karma rats).