Her Bad Mother’s post about WonderBaby’s little euphemism got me thinking about parents and kids and the words we teach (or don’t teach) them to use. Maybe I read too much “Our Body Ourselves” as a young person, or maybe my Mom dragged me to one too many NOW meetings. Whatever the case, I came into parenting assured that teaching children the correct terminology for their bodies would furnish them with knowledge and power and pride.

Knowing the accurate words for themselves seemed an excellent first step in empowering them to know who to ask for what, when, and how they could carry themselves confidently through life. And when I had girls, I felt even more strongly about that.

Fast forward six years and each evening I’m reminded of this solemn undertaking in all its asinine glory.

“Mama, she touched my vagina without permission!!”

“EW. Your vagina STINKS!”

You get the idea.

I’ve promulgated such pride and power and accuracy that I’m afraid my inner Maiden Aunt rears her head simultaneous to each evening’s outcry. “Ladies. Please refrain from yelling out every little thought about your body. Let’s work on discretion.”

Yes. Discretion. A powerful motivator of 6 year olds everywhere.

I should write a parenting book.

Even though I flinch a bit inside, and admire that my friend had the smarts to teach her daughter to call “nursing,” “snack” (I know you’ll be shocked to hear that my youngest just calls out loudly “I want the BOOOB!!”), I am a bit proud of my daughters. They are weird, strong and outspoken. And haven’t yet learned to buckle under and act properly.

Let’s hope they never do…

For more fun with anatomy, go to Strollerderby