Archive for the 'Midlife' Category

04
Feb

Yummy Mummies vs. Hot Pops

By Redsy 4 Comments
Categories: Bite My Recipe, Pal, Boobies, Mensters, Midlife and hoo hoo hooo

By now we’ve all heard about moms going in for post-baby surgery (tightening of loose things, raising of lowered things, perky rather than paunchy, etc.), but what about all the daddies? Don’t they care about their post-baby bodies? Anyone who has heard of couvade can’t believe that women are the only ones impacted by pregnancy….

Over at Strollerderby, I’m imagining a world where dads would go under the knife and what those surgeries might be called….

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On another note, I’m celebrating 4 months of sobriety this Friday with a trip to see my BFF from college, darling sexy Michelle, waaaay over on the East Coast (and her husband and her 3 babies). What fun!!

13
Jan

Body, Mind, Spirit & Aging Disgracefully

By Redsy 14 Comments
Categories: Every Mama Needs..., Mensters and Midlife

pretty-boys.jpgI’ll be 40 in July of this year. Like a humming hyper chant boiling through my brain, it’s distracting me from my zen quest, dammit! I look at myself in the mirror for signs of age, I wonder how old I look (39), knowing how old I feel sometimes (80).

In other words, I’m engulfed in vanity. I feel 15 again, but without the wolf whistles and bad eyeliner.

And there’s this other thing. I feel quite comfortable fessing up, since he admitted his secret dreams. I am, after all, a red blooded American woman. Woe. Man. I’m completely lusting after men in their 20s. Or men who appear to have bodies like men in their 20s.

I have occasion to be in a particular place every day now. And there is a changing cast of characters and an ever-changing vantage point from which to appreciate the incredible beauty of men, particularly young men. And while I usually succeed in keeping my eyes focussed inward and on the spiritual principles I’m trying to learn, sometimes I completely and utterly fail.

I blame turning 40.

I blame dwindling beauty and youth.

I completely deny culpability. Some things never change.

But it is lovely, watching these men with their fucked up minds, and gorgeous bodies. I’m watching only, after all (ok. once in awhile I fantasize). But they are beautiful. In their youth and vitality and mindless healthy strutting. And don’t even get me started about the jeans.

Is this aging? Lusting after youth and beauty?Have I achieved some measure of serenity only to be sidetracked by Generation Z? It seems so.

Not to worry. I won’t do anything but dream. And dreams are fun. At least I’m not the only person getting older around here.

#95

More on Strollerderby…

In other news, I had my first sober New Year’s and here is my partner in crime, the lovely V:

meandvida.jpg

02
Oct

Protectionism

By Redsy 7 Comments
Categories: Be Merry, Boobies, Every Mama Needs..., Midlife and truth

One thing about going to meetings with other people in recovery, you certainly are given plenty of food for thought. Sometimes it’s a bit much, but then it’s leavened with laughter and hearty joking and all is well again. There was much discussion last night about one of my greatest challenges as a mom: fighting the tendency to protect my kids from all pain and anguish. Since I can’t even bear it when they say they’re hungry (for the fifth time after they declare their dislike for dinner), I have a long slog on this one…

Last night a woman shared her recent news: the father of her kids (who are in their young 20’s) has recently been diagnosed with brain cancer and has only weeks to live. She shared the hell of watching her children grieve and being unable to take the pain away. I sat there completely immobilized by fear. If I cannot stand watching the girls get their feelings hurt, how would I ever bear something this terrible? Nothing like borrowing trouble to keep one in a constant state of anxiety and angst.

One of the seasoned codgers weighed in with this gem: We are here not to protect people from their pain, but to help them sort through it. To love them and support them on their journey — but not to take that journey away from them. And I felt my shoulders drop, took a deep breath, and thought “yes.”

I drank too much and too often largely to kill off all the huge feelings — the unmanageable feelings of motherhood — personhood — and it’s a common story in the Halls of these meetings. Sensitive people cannot stand what life presents them, so they slowly try and douse the emotions –not realizing they’re also making joy and happiness impossible as well.

Looking around the rooms at the faces and listening to the stories, I’ve never felt so included… so represented by similarly afflicted spongy hearted wanderers.

What about you? What’s your philosophy of protecting your loved ones? Karen asks this question over at Strollerderby today

#15

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Meanwhile, have you checked out the League of Maternal Justice yet?

06
Sep

How to Have a Responsible Midlife Crisis

By Redsy 11 Comments
Categories: Midlife and Reds
  1. Schedule breakdowns to occur after all the children are fed and bathed and the house is reasonably clean
  2. Drive fast around town but only when there are no small children present.
  3. Buy clothes that make you feel sexy and young, yet are comfortable and not restricting (hard to feel sexy while your jelly roll is lopping over your belt)
  4. Swear loudly and often (and if possible, not around the kids).
  5. Get in touch with your inner lioness by taking up kickboxing, or watching it on TV
  6. Watch the L Word (what is it about hot lesbian sex that just makes me proud to be a woman?)
  7. Make friends with other women who *also* want to have midlife crisis.

Hell, there’s a “Future MILF” club, why shouldn’t there be a “Midlife Crisis” club?

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